


Buffy Summers Has a Really Bad Day

by orphan_account



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Character Bashing, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Mary Sue, Not Beta Read, gratuitous use of latin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22743034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: written for the genprompt_bingo square "Mary Sue / Gary Stu / Authorial Confusions and Other Signifiers of badfic"
Collections: Genprompt Bingo Round 17





	Buffy Summers Has a Really Bad Day

Buffy and Spike were fighting a desperate battle, surrounded by vampires. It looked like this might be the end. Suddenly a figure came vaulting over a tombstone. The new arrival whirled through the vampires leaving a cloud of dust in her wake. Soon all the vampires had been dusted. 

"Who are you?" Buffy asked pevishly. She didn't like being overshadowed like that.

The beautiful young woman brushed her long, flowing cerise hair away from her face and gazed at Buffy and Spike with her cerulean orbs. "Pardon my rudeness" she said in a sexy French accent. "I am Victoire de le Marne at your service." She bowed gracefully.

" _Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles_?" asked Spike.

" _Si les souhaits étaient des chevaux_." Victoire replied.

Spike laughed delightedly. It was a welcome change to speak with someone so intelligent and witty. Drusilla had been fun in a mad sort of way, and Buffy served to pass the time but the girl was woefully ignorant of anything but slaying. " _Les mendiants monteraient."_

Buffy glared at the newcomer suspiciously. She took in her pale gleaming skin that gleamed like snow in the moonlight. "You're a vampire." she accused. "And I'm the Slayer. I think we both know how this ends." She launched herself at the beautiful  
woman.

Victoire defeated Buffy easily and disarmed her. "Don't worry _mon petit navet_. I will not harm you. And I am not exactly a vampire. I am a dhamphir, a day walker. I have a soul and am able to walk under the sun but I have the power of a vampire." 

Just then Giles and Willow appeared. Buffy was furious to see them both gazing with admiration at the beautiful ebon haired dhamphir.

Victoire smiled at Buffy. "I will do you a favor _jeune homme_. I have heard of the vampire in love with the Slayer. But the curse it causes you problems, _non_? I will teach the petite witch a spell to lift the curse. It is a small thing really."

Willow clapped excitedly. She was eager to learn new spells. 

"You must recite this spell on the night of the new moon. "

_"O Sybilli, si ergo_   
_Fortibus es in ero_   
_O nobili, demis trux_   
_Sevatis enim causen dux"._

Willow repeated the words carefully and Victoire nodded her approval. "I see that you will become most powerful. But remember, _un grand pouvoir implique de grandes responsabilités_. I must go now. Farewell."

"Let me come with you." Spike said. 

"Only if you vow not to harm an innocent."

"He can't, he has a chip in his head." Buffy huffed.

"Oh, that. It is easily taken care of. Make the vow, and I will do it."

Spike knelt at her feet. "I vow that I shall never harm an innocent."

The ebon haired woman touched his head a recited another Latin spell. "" _Mea navis volitans anguillis plena est_." Then they departed.

"She was lovely." the tweed clad Watcher sighed. 

The red haired witch nodded in agreement.

The blonde Slayer scoffed in disgust. But she cheered up when she recalled that soon Angel's curse would be lifted and they could be together. Really together. 

And afterwards, they all went to the House of Pancakes.


End file.
